


Bad Habit

by Syiqah



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Eating Disorders, Langst, self-starve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 17:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syiqah/pseuds/Syiqah
Summary: Why is it so hard to break the habit?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another from tumblr. This here's hitting closer to home. Me? Projecting? Maybe...

It’s one of those days, Lance just knows it. Waking up feeling like death was the worst. It’ll happen again and again. It’ll come whenever it wants to. Today was that day, unfortunately. Begrudgingly, he got ready for the day. He skipped his extensive morning routine and instead does the simple and off he goes to the kitchen. No one’s there, not even Hunk who’s usually loud in the morning, making breakfast. Odd but he doesn’t question it. He saw the leftovers from the night before. He didn’t think twice to ignore it.

He plops himself in his usual sit and looks at the clock. Oh. Oh, that explains it. It was way too early for even anyone to be up… Well unless it’s Shiro but it seems Shiro’s able to get a night’s rest today. Good. He needs it more than Lance.

He sighs. With nothing better to do, Lance decides to head for the training deck. Maybe working on his shooting would take his mind off of things. And it did for a while before his stomach starts to rumble. He ignores it and continued with his training. His movements became sluggish, his breath getting out of sync and his balance feels off. Today just can’t get any better, can it?

“Lance?” Of fucking course, the universe loves to mess with him. That voice. To which he should know but it took him a while to put a face to the voice. It was Keith. Keith, the hot-headed, reckless mullet head. What does he want? He grumbled back a response. Getting distracted isn’t going to help him improve his shooting. He needs to get this right. He needs to get to the next level. He needs to be better.

“Breakfast is ready. You’re coming or what?” Lance took a tick too long to process the question. Breakfast? Maybe later. He’s not feeling it. With the last shot from his bayard, the level ended. He faced Keith and with a hopefully convincing smile, he replied.

“Maybe later. Go on ahead without me.” And Keith took it and left. Lance felt empty. His stomach grumbled again. He ignores. His mind told him otherwise but his stomach says something else. He knew he should follow his common sense and eat something but his stomach says another thing. He felt fine, a tiny bit hungry but he’ll be fine. He could grab something later.

Later became much, much more. Every time someone offered food, he rejected it or said he’ll eat it later. Every time he spotted a snack, he ignores it and convinces himself he’ll eat it later. Every time he passed the kitchen and smells something delicious, he walks pass fast and says he’s not hungry just yet and will eat it later. But Lance never did. It seems “later” had become “never”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH! 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE UPDATE!   
> Nah, I've already done and posted it on tumblr. That doesn't count, does it? Anyways. Enjoy the next chapter~

It’s the third day now that Lance hadn’t had anything in a row. No breakfast, no lunch and not even dinner. Even Hunk’s amazing cooking became something bland to him. It just doesn’t seem appetizing to him anymore.

Lance was lounging about within Blue. It was a maintenance day. Everyone else was doing their own thing. That left Lance with Blue and his thoughts. Blue was purring and Lance could tell she was worried. “I know, Beautiful. I should eat but I’m not hungry.” A wave of something akin to Blue saying “Bullshit” pass through him. “You got me there….Maybe later.” A frown this time. Blue knew. Blue always knew somehow. Nothing escapes her.

He sighs. Nothing better but to get a lecture from Blue on this fine day. Lance mostly tune it out. He didn’t mean to but it had become a habit. Back on earth, his parents would realize Lance’s odd behaviour. They would constantly nag Lance to eat. Worst case scenario, they called in his abuelita. That’s when Lance had to eat. You can’t just reject food from her and he knows that well. He’ll eat, of course, but behind closed doors, he’ll vomit them out. It was too much for his body to take in after a long “starving period”.

On several occasions, his mom would give him the lecture regarding his odd eating behaviour but that soon became something he tunes out. People keep telling him to eat. He’ll tune them out too and keep giving back the same answer. “I’m not hungry”, ”I’ll eat later”, “I’m fine.” It’ll keep going till one day he’s back to eating fine and in his usual self that they’ll stop till the next “starving period”.

Here out in space, his friends didn’t even notice, only Blue did. Blue acted more and more like his mom. Nagging him, scolding him and everything else just to get Lance to eat something.

GRRRR

Again, there goes Lance’s stomach. He lifts his shirt and examined his body. he poked at his chest and there it is, clear as can be. He can feel bone. He can see his ribs. He examined it as if it was alien to him. Ironic since he’d seen many aliens here in outer space.

“Blue, I hate this…. I hate that I’m like this. I hate my body. I hate my mind. I hate myself. I hate this. Fuck. I fucking hate this. This is torture, Blue. I hate this so much. I really want to eat. I’m hungry. Famished! I’m starving myself. But my mind keeps saying the opposite. It keeps making me avoid food altogether. Make any food I see unappetizing and just so fucking bland. Mio dios. Stop. Make it stop. No more. No more of these stupid thoughts. No more of these stupid starving periods. Nomorenomorenomore NO MORE! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!” 

He screamed his frustrations to high heaven. He doesn’t need to care for the others to hear. The lions themselves are soundproof. He screamed till his throat were raw. Hot tears streaming down his face. At the end of it all, Lance found himself curled up in a fetal position, sobbing out whatever that’s left in him till he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ^_^


End file.
